If given any deep thought, the entire Friday the 13th series is illogical. However, it knows its own rules and sticks to them. The same which could be said of franchise mascot Jason Voorhees. Whether he’s on the grounds of Camp Crystal Lake (or Camp Forest Green in Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives), Manhattan, or outer space, Jason has one goal.
However, his one deadly goal isn’t indiscriminate, the same of which couldn’t be said for the rule-free Michael Myers. Just about every other character in cinema history has more personality than Jason, but meme-makers the world over have still found plenty of ways to poke fun at him.
9/9 He’s A Momma’s Boy
Long before Jason was a horror movie villain who went to Hell, he was just a kid who drowned in a lake, too far from his mother for her to save him. Even his first appearance as an adult showed that he lived in a cabin that mostly served as a shrine to her. The most notable addition to the shrine is her rotted head.
Pamela Voorhees has been a major part of the franchise even though Betsy Palmer only appeared in Sean S. Cunningham’s original Friday the 13th (and a cameo in Steve Miner’s Friday the 13th Part II). Her presence (along with Alice’s) helps essentially make the first and second films one, in the vein of Halloween and Halloween II. Jason’s Part II survival makes as much sense as his Part VI revival, but a boy’s love for his mother can go a long way
8/9 He’s Immortal By This Point
The “I don’t always…but when I do” format is perfect for Jason Voorhees in several regards. It would be also accurate to have something along the lines of “I don’t always see teens. But when I do, I swing my machete.”
But “I don’t always die. But when I do die, I don’t.” is arguably just as good. It’s true that Jason’s effectively an immortal being by this point in the franchise’s run. The second through fourth installments had Jason as a man. He was a man who could survive an ax to the head, but a man nonetheless. By the time he was revived from the grave, Jason was in full zombie mode so, yes, when he does die, he doesn’t actually die.
7/9 His Moral Compass Is All Over The Place
Premarital sex and pot smoking seems to be prevalent in the Friday the 13th franchise. And it always seems to be when teenagers are conducting these activities that Jason strikes.
Furthermore, trying to be ethical is all well and good, but Jason’s method leaves a lot to be desired. The penalty for smoking a joint shouldn’t be a swung machete. Crystal Lake’s resident guardian tends to exaggerate in his responses.
6/9 Jason Needs Love Too
This Tinder Profile-spoofing meme hilariously chooses Jason’s most odious physical appearance to date. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (one horror movie sequel fans hated but loved over time) doesn’t have the slasher icon on-screen much of the time, but when he is, he’s absolutely hideous.
With a mask that’s mostly been melted into his skull and a smell that practically comes out of the viewer’s television, he’s looked more ready to enter the dating world. Even if he never looked all that great, to begin with.
5/9 Sometimes They Make It Easy For Him
Some of Jason’s victims yell out an excessive number of “Hellos”. Others stray to a cabin alone, e.g. the original Friday the 13th‘s Ned, who has one of the most shocking off-screen character deaths. This meme more or less pokes fun at the latter.
Take Rob from Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, a man who runs down into a pitch black basement, even though he has a pretty solid idea that Jason’s there too. Prior to this moment, Rob had been one of the franchise’s more capable characters; The one person to actually try and track Jason down. He meets his end in a basement, screaming “He’s killing me! He’s killing me!” Sometimes, Jason’s victims make the whole process pretty easy for him.
4/9 Sometimes They Make It Really Easy For Him
Most of the worst decisions in the Friday the 13th movies involve not just bolting off of Crystal Lake grounds the minute Jason is spotted. However, even those who do run usually trip within a few paces (unless they’re the final girl protagonist). For instance, the cop in Friday the 13th Part II, the opening of Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday, or the opening of Freddy vs. Jason.
It seems even if Jason’s target is a track star, he catches up to them. Granted, Jason can apparently teleport in later installments, but he practically doesn’t even need the ability. Whoever he’s chasing inevitably trips over an invisible log, and Jason’s job’s made easy.
3/9 Not Much Is Safe At Camp Crystal Lake
Jack Burrell (Kevin Bacon, in one of his best horror movies) didn’t get to meet Jason. But, he met Jason’s mother. However, it was only briefly, and it’s at least in part because he broke several unspoken Camp Crystal Lake rules.
Primarily, he smoked pot and had premarital sex with his girlfriend, Marcie Stanler. Furthermore, all the teens go swimming early in the film and, lastly, Jack and Marcie split from the remainder of the group. They both faced the wrath of Mrs. Voorhees, much in a way that would be carried out by her son after her death.
2/9 To His Credit, He Doesn’t Attack Children
Except for Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter‘s Tommy Jarvis (who subverted the final girl trope in Part VI), Jason doesn’t go after kids. Even in that fourth film, he was mostly after Jarvis’ older sister, Trish, and the teens who temporarily moved in next door. Jason doesn’t go after kids, so at least he isn’t as morally bankrupt as A Nightmare on Elm Street‘s Freddy Krueger, a man/monster who met his mortal end by targeting them.
There’s also Michael Myers, who notably and horribly slays a little boy and his father in David Gordon Green’s Halloween (2018). Toss in some flashback murder scenes in Rob Zombie’s Halloween (2007) and Myers isn’t much better, but at least he refrained from killing a baby in the 2018 film.
1/9 He Knows His Style
Jason got his mask from Shelly Finkelstein way back in the days of Friday the 13th Part III, and as far as wardrobe goes he hasn’t looked back since. Even when he’s brought back from the dead, courtesy of a lightning bolt in Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives, the first thing he does (after a murder) is put on his wormy hockey mask. So, it stands to reason that he’d like some Crocs to go along with his mask.
The thought of Jason Voorhees stomping the grounds of Crystal Lake with a machete and a pair of Crocs is a humorous thought. It’s easy to get the sense that his intended victim would catch a glimpse of the machete and mask, bolt off, do a double-take, notice the Crocs, and start laughing. He should probably just wear them at home.