Drew Barrymore is getting candid about her sex life!
The 47-year-old actress took a moment to get very vulnerable in a new blog post titled “Rebels Who Love” on Sunday. Acting as a direct clapback to a woman she met at a workout class over the weekend who claimed she “hates sex,” Drew explained her unique relationship to love and sex now that she’s divorced and a mother of two.
Related: Drew Reveals She Was In An ‘Open Relationship’ With THIS Celeb!
The controversy all began last month when Drew revealed she could go “years” without sex on her talk show. In fact, she hasn’t gotten intimate with anyone since her 2016 split from ex-husband Will Kopelman, with whom she shares two daughters, Olive, 10, and Frankie, 8. The talk show host began:
“The other day I walked into a workout class and this woman said ‘you look just like Drew Barrymore except for you look like you have mental wellness and besides …she hates sex!’ I did not know what this woman was talking about.”
Um, harsh! Drew continued:
“Then a few days later, I learned that somehow a comment that I had made on the show about how abstaining from sex for six months just didn’t seem like that long to me because at my age and with my life experience, it just doesn’t. The whole conversation came about because the news reported that a talented and cool, male actor [Andrew Garfield] – who is considered a heart throb by many accounts! – abstained from sex for six months as part of a role he was working on. And I love this actor. For him, that must have been challenging. I see that now. And I’m sure that there was one point in my life where six months might have seemed extreme, but I’m on the other side of that now.”
Her perspective on sex altered after she got divorced and realized she did not want to continue on with her life in the same manner as her past, she added:
“At nearly 48 I have very different feelings about intimacy than I did growing up. I did not have role model parents and I engaged with people in grown up ways since a tender age! I was looking for companionship! validation! excitement! pleasure! hedonism! fun! And adventures!! Now, because I can’t get in the time machine and change my history. So I now choose to look at it through a positive lens, which is that I lived! I lived a very rich full life. However, after two kids and a separation from their father that has made me cautious, I have had the pleasure of shifting my focus when it comes to love for myself and my two daughters. I know that does not include a man nor has it for a while. I’ve come to realize through working in therapy (with Barry), he said something and I had to write it down. He said, ‘Sex is not love! It is the expression of love.’ I have searched my whole life to have words like that to help me understand the difference and now, thanks to him, I do.”
What an important lesson to learn! It’s also helped her to redefine what she wants for herself and the example she wants to set for her children. Given the difficult upbringing she had, it’s no wonder she’s taking her parenting responsibilities more seriously too! She continued:
“And since entering life as a single mom, I have not been able to have an intimate relationship. I have had the honor and a pleasure to actually work on myself and learn what parenting is, again something I was not exactly clear on growing up and I’ve had many learning curves thrown my way. I’ve been intimidated. I’ve been triumphant. I’ve been asked to be educated in every way I can be. The truth is, it’s different for every family and every individual, but I have had to try and find my own way. I’m also raising two daughters, so how we raise girls to be appropriate and empowered and to love themselves and to realize that we live in an age where the images and messages that they will see will also contradict what I have come to believe intimacy is! Intimacy is something that makes you feel good about yourself! I also talk about and have learned when something doesn’t make you feel good or it makes you feel bad about yourself, pay as much attention to that as what makes you feel great because there’s a lesson in there.”
So, it’s not that she doesn’t like sex, it’s just that she’s not the same person she was when she was younger and looking to bounce from relationship to relationship without processing her emotions in between:
“I am just in a completely different place in my life and maybe in the near future I will get into a relationship… but it simply hasn’t been my priority. So I’m not a person who needs sex and has to go out there and engage with people on that level. I am someone who is deeply committed to fostering how young girls, my daughters, and myself as a woman, are supposed to function in this world! A relationship with a man has not been top of mind for me for a very long time. Some people can get out of a marriage or relationship and in the near future find themselves in another relationship. There is nothing wrong with that! Not one bit. I do not judge! I celebrate their journey! Because for some people that really works. It didn’t work for me. I needed to stay very celibate and honoring and in some sort of state of morning of the loss of a nuclear family that I swore I would have for my daughters and to find grace and acceptance and what our new normal of a blended family would be. It took time. I’m proud of myself that I took that time. That’s what I, as my own individual and no one else just me, needed to do and I honored that and I respect myself for it, as I respect anyone else for their choices. I have just simply come to laugh about the fact that it is not my personal priority to be with a partner, but that doesn’t mean it won’t become one someday. I need time. And my view on sex has truly changed.”
All that said, she insisted her fans shouldn’t forget she’s still a “naughty monkey who is rebellious and weird and comedic and wacky and doesn’t judge others.” Hah!
Related: Why Drew Barrymore Will NEVER Get Plastic Surgery!
The Santa Clarita Diet lead concluded:
“So for the record, I do not hate sex! I have just finally come to the epiphany that love and sex are simply not the same thing. I searched my whole life for, which is to be a calm woman and not a bombastic party girl. Also, when you grow up and are in a marriage with kids and you think you’ll only be with this one person for the rest of your life and then that doesn’t happen? It rocked me to my core, to put it lightly. But I am lucky enough to have my cup runneth over in the love department: I have my two daughters, and for the first time ever in my life, I’m actually including self-love, too.”
Also, while the 50 First Dates alum isn’t focused on finding love at this time, it doesn’t mean she’s not trying at all. Earlier this month, she showed off her profile picture for a dating app (below)!
She also had a reunion with her ex-boyfriend Justin Long live on TV, and they discussed their on-again, off-again romance (which lasted from 2007 to 2010), and how grateful they each are to have maintained a friendship after breaking up. So, she’s def not above working on herself or finding love… she’s just not rushing the process! Pretty crazy how her viewers thought she hated sex just because she was discussing her abstinence! Read her full blog post HERE. Thoughts?! Sound OFF (below)!
[Image via Drew Barrymore/Instagram]